I'm entering week four of no job and I still have the ups and downs anyone looking for work does. The hopeful cover letter sent to the organization I'm dying to work for. The bleary eyes from reading job description after job description, wondering how I can more eloquently express that yes, I do have excellent written and oral communication skills. The frustration from the passive rejection that comes from an empty inbox and a silent phone.
But those are the bad things. The good things are these:
I actually stopped and smelled roses today. I went to my local coffee shop where I go to hang out for a few hours and interact with other people, just to keep the insanity at bay. Today is so beautiful, so I decided to take a long, meandering walk home. Joblessness = more time. As I walked down a street I'd never been on in my neighborhood, I came by lovely, huge, red blooms, gently swaying in the breeze over a fence. Roses are my favorite flower and I was compelled. The sun was shining, birds chirped (I only hate that sound in the morning, it's awesome in the afternoon), and the roses smelled heavenly. Sweet, but not overpowering. And they had that grown-in-nature smell that hothouse roses will never achieve. It was perfect.
I've started reading novels again. I had trouble reading for fun while in graduate school. All that other reading just made me want to put down books at the end of the day and watch something on television. But with the library only a few blocks away, I've started taking weekly trips to find new books, maybe read some old favorites I don't own, and actually read a book in only a few days, not a few weeks. It's like reconnecting with an old friend.
I do want a job, don't get me wrong. But it makes it a little easier when I have things that I can enjoy in the midst of the exhausting hunt.
Photo: Roses from the rose gardens at Reynolda House, take by me, 2010.